February 2012
14 posts
and we are watching episodes IV-VI for the THIRD...
I can’t tell you how many cardboard spaceships there are right now.
Awhile ago me and the kids were at frageelay's
And they were exposed to star wars for the first time. I felt like a failed parent for not doing that much earlier. People give me the evil eye all the time for other stuff they think I’ve failed on, but that is the only thing where I’ve failed my own standards, which are way more important.
Anyway, the kids have been asking to watch them ever since. Life got in the way, kept waiting...
Me: Her nose is always full of crud, but his is always clean.
Him: Why do you think that is?
Me: Some how the 5 year old knows how to use tissues and the 7 year old doesn't?
Him: Right..or...he constantly picks his nose and she doesn't.
Me: BURN THE COOKIES HE TOUCHED ALL OF THEM
Him: OH GOD I'M GOING TO BLOW CHUNKS I ATE FOUR
the mighty vag
JK: Is there anything more uncomfortable than a ladies' check-up
Me: How about a failed ladies check-up
JK: Whaaaaa
Me: Like when a gyno shoved his thumb up my ass to check for an enlarged uterus without telling me...don't get pregnant. Everyone has to have their fingers down there.
JK: Uh...they do that?
Me: Apparently.
JK: Thru your ass?
Me: New doc knows nothing without my consent. Other guy explained himself: "Oh, if I told you, then you'd tighten up!" Well duh, numnuts, what if I wanted to refuse that part of the exam.
JK: Well, lesson learned, I guess
Me: My ass had to pay
JK: So many places to take that
Me: The last lady check-up the speculum broke. Like a spring misfired. Whaleboning my vag with a piece of plastic.
JK: Ugh...Omg, that thing hurts enough as it is.
Me: I now request metal, for my mighty vag crunches plastic.
JK: Congrats on your strong vag.
He's one of those people
Who is like, I don’t want anything for my birthday, and really doesn’t want anything.
I started calling around to do that tired surprise party thing and his friends and coworkers were like “Do you know him? He does not like surprise parties.”
I began planning to make him his own man-cave, and he said he doesn’t want a part of the house that’s a shrine to...
Me: I know what you want for your birthday! A Bissell Steam & Sweep Vac!
Him: What on earth....
Me: You know, it vacuums up and steams the floors at the same time! No more sweeping and mopping.
Him: You've been watching TV again, haven't you?
Me: ...yes.
Him: No more TV for you.
January 2012
22 posts
Ramblr
I made a huge ass to-do list. Is writing a random post on tumblr on it? No it is not. Fuck you, to-do list.
Talked to the nutritional therapist a couple weeks ago. She said that there are basically 3 food groups: carbs, protein, and fat. Anything that’s a carb - ice cream, whole wheat bread, apples, juice, soda, popcorn - my body turns into sugar. And I do not need that sugar. Some of the...
“Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously...”
– Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse-Five” (via marxisforbros)
Ramblr
Supporting the internet blackout tomorrow by not using the internet. I know I’m supposed to black out my site or something but uh…nobody cares if I black out myself. Difference between me supporting a strike and the everyday? That’s right. Nothing.
I’m back from Chicago. It was great to meet folks on Thursday and go on a photo walk on my birthday. People think the Broncos...
5 things
5 things I’ve done that no other tumblr person has done right?
Sing Sir Mix-A-Lot’s smash hit for a church fundraiser. With appropriate gestures.
Go tuba caroling
Be exposed to live Sarin gas
Expose belly after winning debate round…a softer version of baring teeth
Eat soap. Although, I think a certain welshman we know may have experience with this also.
Our Selves, Other Cells →
Cool article about babies and moms - how their cells stay in mom’s body long after birth and vice versa.
Since we’ve got gaping chasms babies on the brain here.
Isn't it all too easy to make fun of Iowa
Because we think all the republican candidates are terrible? The only people we’d praise at the caucus would be the people who refused to vote, of course, then you’d only have far more weirdos voting.
I personally know some Iowans and they allright. Certainly far more progressive than Nebraska. I mean, I’m all for making fun of Iowans, but when they get typecasted as more...
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
11 posts
Native American languages spoken. →
adailyriot:
tigressunlimited:
greeneyedbastard:
On this page are pictures of people, turn your sound to a suitable level and roll your mouse over the photos of the people to hear them speak in their Native tongue.
so much love
<3
“…1984 is about the inexorable degradation of language by its close association...”
– Thoughts on “Orwellian” (via azspot)
2 tags
4 tags
With a Head Like a Wolf: Solidarity with Occupy... →
withaheadlikeawolf:
They are attempting to shut down Occupy Omaha:
Lets Get On Them!!
Stand UP AMERICA!
Here are some other ways to reach the Hotline:
Telephone: (402) 444-5555 (Voice) (402) 996-8490 (TTY /TDD)
Fax: (402) 444-7963
Mail: The Mayor’s Hotline Civic Center - Suite 304 1819 Farnam St. Omaha, NE…
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NOT GET ARRESTED THIS TIME
2 tags
October 2011
3 posts
